History
is on my mind today. As I went to my local polling station, I glanced across Cork harbour at the beauty of Cobh and I thought of my
grandparents, 3 of whom emigrated via Cobh (formerly Queenstown) to
the USA over 100 years ago. Shipping and transatlantic traffic had advanced to
a new level back then. As they left in the early 1900s, they were amongst the
first wave of emigrants for whom returning to Ireland again was a possibility –
albeit a very remote one.
All
of this crossed my mind this morning because I had seen some earlier twitter
traffic showing the huge numbers of Irish emigrants journeying back to Ireland
– just for today – to vote in our historic marriage equality referendum - extending marriage to same-sex couples. I wondered if many emigrants over the
generations felt they had to emigrate so they could live authentically and true to
themselves? I felt the hand of history today – and hoped that this day would be
a defining one in our nation’s evolution - a day to truly herald equality and
inclusion.
It’s
funny that my grandfather entered my mind again soon after. "There’s 2
sides to every story" he used to say. When I arrived at my polling
station, I was met at the door with a powerful religious display of the virgin Mary
surrounded by children. Given the significant issue
of the day, the emphasis on children during the campaign, and the position
adopted by the church, I felt the display was inappropriate for today. Irish law prohibits “participant” groups from having displays near to the polling station on polling day.
It
made me feel uncomfortable – not because of the religious aspect but because of
its juxtaposition to the civil referendum taking place. When I highlighted this
to the polling station staff, they were very understanding and helpful in their
explanation. This polling station happens to be a Catholic denomination school,
this a school-related Confirmation display that’s been there for weeks – in
this same location. They said they would address it with the school. I heard
their reasonable explanation and I understood the celebration it was associated
with. There are two sides to every story.
We’ve
heard from both sides in this referendum debate. It’s been divisive for some.
But what a healthy conversation we have had as a nation. Yes there’s been hurt
aired and provoked – on both sides. But we’ve been extremely honest and
passionate. We have led the way in terms of open discussion.
Ok,
so already approx 18 countries have legalised gay marriage. But we are the
first country in the world to put the issue to a democratic vote for our
citizens to decide. We are the first country in the world to have had this
open, healthy and honest discussion.
Well done us. It
takes two sides to make History.
Tom
Evans is a father, hubby, writer, counsellor, and psychotherapist based in
Midleton, Cork.
FB: www.facebook.com/corktherapies
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