Something has changed in the Therapy room since the Referendum on marriage equality in Ireland. The outcome of that vote has had unforeseen consequences.
When we are unwilling to take full responsibility for ourselves, for our lives and happiness, we often Project our inability to do so onto those around us, or onto a specific group, or onto society as a whole. In the therapy space, for a client confronting a difficult decision in their life, one might hear a statement like “you know how people are” or “you know what people would say”. The inference here is that people are critical, disapproving or homophobic. This can be the perception for one who fears change – like career direction change, or leaving a relationship, or coming out, or such big life challenges. As a defense, the person might blame society for their unhappiness rather than take full responsibility themselves.
Tom Evans is a father, hubby, writer, counsellor, and psychotherapist based in Midleton & Cork City, Ireland. 086 3375310