Pull up a chair there: July 2015

1 Get organised, timetable your schedules in advance. Get cooking, freeze some meals. Setup online grocery shopping & home delivery. Most of the providers save “your favourites” so it gets easier and faster each time you shop. Cost is negligible.

2 Nappies are no bother once you’ve done a few. You’ll soon get the routine. Have your changing table, supplies & disposal organised. Get your baby holdall bag organised - just the basics for nappy change & clothes changes. You won’t need to carry everything with you.

3 Grab moments when baby sleeps on your tummy. This will likely only happen for a very short period in your baby's life - over the first few weeks or months. You will savour the memory forever.

4 Sleep will be challenged. Sleep is fundamental. Sleeping patterns will be overturned. She will need to synchronise hers with the baby. Use the spare room or over-the-counter sleeping remedies if your sleep is suffering.

5 Your partner will most likely be less available emotionally – be ready for that and cut her some slack. She may not want sex for weeks or months. Generally it’s out for the first 4 to 6 weeks due to the risk of infection, bleeding, healing etc - depending on the birth. Don’t pressurise. Talk about it. Open communication is the key to building intimacy. There are other ways to reconnect – like holding, cuddling, chatting and sharing over a glass of wine when baby is asleep. Do prioritise your connection. Do not render it a low priority.

6 Have lots of fun. Once your baby gets more aware, get on down there on the floor together – it’s a great opportunity for a second childhood and to form a cool bond with your smallie.

7 Look after your mental health. The first 6 months of each child’s life is very stressful for both parents. You need to be resourced and supported to withstand the stress & anxiety. Then you will be more available to support your partner and family.

8 Do not isolate yourself. You will need breaks also. We do not operate at our optimum when isolated. Sharing eases everything. Openness to support and asking for it are vital – for you both. Cuidiu offers women a fantastic way to meet others who are coping with exactly what you are – in a very easy relaxed way – at coffee mornings either in local café’s or someone’s home. For men, we don’t have the same ready-made solution available – so setup a dads group. I set one up in Midleton and 7 of us still meet regularly.

9 Don’t bother spending big bucks on expensive hardware – ie prams buggies etc. The most versatile, usable & user friendly one will invariably be your Maclaren foldable pushchair. Get yourself a wearable baby-carrier (we used the Beko soft-carrier for our 3 – immensely comfy for baby & dad or mom & looks the business). When it comes to car child seats, use an iso-fix designed one. They truly are worth the bobs. Hugely safe & durable. Our 4 year old is still in his – and the same unit has safely transported our 3 over the past 7 years.

10 Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.